life. love. everything.

I finally went around to giving P90X a try and these workouts are intense! I’m doing the lean program so I can be lean (obviously) and have a physique that is not buff, but more toned and fit. I prefer that over beefy.

Anywho, so I’m hella sore! It’s only day two and my ass hurts like no other. I haven’t been this sore since I took that abs and back class three years ago! But I’ll admit it’s a good feeling. It makes me feel like it’s working vs. the gym where it’s only sore if I haven’t gone in a while.

Hopefully after 90 days I’ll be nice and lean and toned and all that jazz and I can finally lose this tummy that is a result of my giving in to sweets. Hahaha

I need to try way harder. I feel like I’m just coasting through life and it’s getting kinda ridiculous. I used to care soooo much about personal appearance but that has gone to shambles! In order to relieve myself of that slothfulness, I have come up with a plan:

• Revive my gym schedule. I used to go four days a week and for the past few weeks I have been getting more lethargic and therefore gaining more fat. I’ve even missed a whole week! I hate to be super self-conscious like that, but damn I want to be way more cut. I’m at my ideal weight, but I want to lower my body fat and gain more muscle.
• Start catching up on fashion blogs and magazines. I used to be an avid reader of GQ and Complex and all that jazz, but then I just stopped caring. WHY!? I used to be so on top of everything knowing what was in and what was out. I had my own style and was often commended on it, but now I just fall back on the same ol’ outfits and I look like one of the masses. It’s time for that to end NOW! I need to resume the good ol’ tradition of ironing, too.
• Find a better job. Sure it’s cool right now, but ideally I’d like to work in a graphic design firm that does beautiful work! By beautiful, I mean AMAZING (for examples, look up Hatch SF, Mine SF, Pentagram, or Altitude SF). I’m not down to settle for any ol’ job … I’m out here to start my career. I don’t even mind doing an unpaid internship as long as I can learn and grow and become a better designer.

Okay, I’ll admit that a lot of these are vain, but I feel that image is important and I want to present myself well. These days, you can’t necessarily rely on just your resume to get you places; rather, it’s about who you know and who those people know and it doesn’t hurt to be thought of as well-groomed and professional.

So starting tonight, it’s time to shape up and look good. And hopefully out of all of this, I’ll be able to meet some awesome people and make some great connections.

I was reading Andrew’s post about how certain folks have gone away (relationship-wise) and it got me thinking about my own former interests.

Before I got into my current relationship, I was talking to someone who had fancied me for a while, yet at the time, I wasn’t out at all. I laughed it off saying I was flattered, but no. A year and a few months later, I hung out with him and I’ll admit … it was nice. He was his flirtatious self and I was having fun in ways that I haven’t had in a while. I let him know the “news” and he was ecstatic. Needless to say, we hung out more and more.

He had it all - cute as hell, social, and, in a sense, successful (in an academic sense). He was the one who I’d get butterflies around and the one I would show off to my friends whenever they asked if I was talking to someone new.

Somewhere along the line though, it just stopped and the possibility of ever getting into a relationship died. It was all so sudden … from regularly texting/calling/IMing to straight up silence.

I was devastated.

I couldn’t believe that someone who I thought I could be with relationship-wise would turn out to be that guy that would break my heart. A part of me knew exactly why it happened, but I kept believing that if it was meant to be, it was meant to be.

We stopped talking and it hurt. Of course I missed him, but I knew that I had to let it go. Which I did, and now I’m with my current and I couldn’t be happier (11 months today! =D). But like with all former flames, there’s always that lingering desire to want to know what’s going on with him.

He talked to me several months later just to see how I was doing and I’ll admit I got that nervous, giddy feeling. While talking to him, I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me by shoving my success in his unemployed, post-grad life. Yet, it just wasn’t worth losing a friendship to get that satisfaction of revenge.

People come and people go, and those that are meant to stay really do stay. No, he wasn’t my first love. He wasn’t even my first crush. He was just someone that meant a lot and his being so distant from my life lets me know how fragile friendships can be.

I surely hope this doesn’t happen if my current and I ever separate.

When I first started my Tumblr, I knew it would solely consist of random internet finds. It would serve as a Twitter of random stuff. However, I found myself wanting to post about actual thoughts and opinions, yet I thought it would be awkward sandwiched between random penis shorts pictures or my fanatic posts about Lady Gaga.

Therefore, I started this separate blog that would consist of just text posts much like how I would if this were a Livejournal or Xanga (which I still have by the way, but I don’t post). I’m not necessarily the most interesting person, but I take from each day something new, something learned, and something to reflect upon.

So welcome. Enjoy. This is the view from me today. =)